I can't decide
by Under-attack
Summary: Spencer Reid is a serial killer. Inspired by the song 'I can't decide' by Scissor Sisters. Very short chapters. Very short fic.  Time jumps included
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Not even the alphabet is mine**

**This is kind of a songy fic. It's so short and semi vague because I wrote it while listening to the song and wanted to make it choppy like some kind of horror movie that fades in and out to different scenes. If it's liked enough I'll write a detailed account of Spencer's dark activities. Think of this fic as a teaser?**

**Please Review!  
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Chapter 1: It's not easy having yourself a good time

The assault of bleach attacking his nostrils gave him a tingling feeling inside. He watched as the liquid he poured intertwined with the red on the porcelain surface.

He strode over to the bathroom's sink lifting the knife to bathe under the water. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and smiled, though physically exhausted his eyes looked refreshed.

Gripping the faucet knob tightly he turned off the water stopping the flow. Turning back he reclaimed his position in front of the tub. The velvet color was fading, most of it had made it's way down the long, dark drain. A slight frown appeared at the thought.

Sighing, he retreated to the door, in one swift movement he bent down and picked up the large black garbage bag that sat aside it. Throwing the weight over his shoulder for better leverage he twisted the door knob and left the room.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Greasing up those bets and betters

Driving down the seemingly empty streets he gazed out the window taking in the scene before him. It had been a week since his last, his patience alone deserved this. Scoping those left fallen by humanity his heart thudded. Anonymity filled the air.

He saw her coming out of a bar, her long blonde hair flickering in the wind, knee high boots squeezing her tightly. Her outfit of choice giving her away, there was no arguing what she was. He adjusted the rear view mirror observing the subject as she entered her car.

His grip on the steering wheel tightened as he watched her drive off. Fleeing from his vision but not from his thoughts. She'd remain there until fate let them reunite.

As he left he took the memory of her with him. Locking and storing her away.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Fuck and kiss you both at the same time

"Mnph.. A-Aaron" pleasure built inside of him as his lover thrust into his lithe body.

"Fuck, Spencer" the older man groaned as he came deep inside the boy.

They both slumped onto each other as exhaustion hit. A whine from the younger agent made Hotch's head pop up. He saw the desperation in the boy's eyes and followed his gaze. He hastily took the boy's flesh in his fist and began pumping at a rapid speed.

Reid moaned and whimpered at the steady rhythm. He looked towards the bathroom door and with a few more strokes of encouragement he released his seed in the man's hand. Throwing his head back he gasped for air.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Smells like something I've forgotten

Morgan yanked open the passenger's side door, as he entered the vehicle he was met with a gruesome odor. "Reid what the hell, man. Do you smell that?".

The younger agent looked up towards his colleague "What?" he furrowed his brows.

"You serious? It's almost like.. like someone dropped a shit ton of garbage into your fucking car and let it sit and rot" he looked at the genius in disbelief.

Reid took in a whiff of the air, he didn't know what Morgan was talking about. As the scent hit, his brain registered the all too familiar smell.

Morgan saw the realization in the kid's eyes as he identified stench. "What is it?".

"I left some garbage in the truck. It's probably at least three days old." he commented nonchalantly. "I'll take care of it later."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Curled up, Died and now it's rotten

Entering the bathroom he was engulfed in the visual in front of him. Blonde hair painted with red specks hung from her now pale white face. Hunched in a half sitting position her leg hung from the edge of the porcelain tub.

She was beautiful but she was diminishing. She'd disappear soon, too soon for his liking anyway. Walking over he took a seat on the ledge. Gentley he lifted his hand and let his knuckles brush against her cheek. She was so cold, so perfect.

He decided he'd miss her. He still remembered how she helped him climax the night with Aaron. If he could preserve her he would but he couldn't afford to do so. She'd remain in his memory though, he'd release her body but keep her soul. Her last minutes were his and his only. No one could have ever been so intimate with her than he was that night.

He was the closest person she'd ever had. He wouldn't let her die.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: I can't decide whether you should live or die

Palming his chin in his hand he looked into the dark deep eyes of the man he loved. He searched for meaning in those eyes, he knew if he waited long enough he'd see all the answers.

"Fascinated?"

"Step away from the ledge, Narcissus. You're too close to the water." he released the older man's chin and pulled himself off the bed.

"You're the one gazing into my eyes, Echo" Hotch said with a grin.

Reid rolled his eyes as he searched for his pants. Hotch shifted himself into a sitting position as he watched his younger lover go on a scavenger hunt for the remains of last night's activities.

"You know he didn't love her." he suddenly spoke. "She loved him but he was too wrapped up in himself".

"You think I don't love you?" Hotch raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't say that" he smirked as he found his pants and happily pulled them on.

"Sounded like it"

"You know.. in the story.. he also had a hard time hearing the things she said. He either couldn't hear her or just chose not to."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Please don't hang your head and cry

Sitting in the interrogation room on the opposite side of the table was a new experience. Cuffed to the table he didn't have much room to move. Not that he would if he could, where would he go?

His head perked up as the door opened.

"Hello Rossi" he smiled innocently.

"Reid" the man nodded.

"It's cold in here" _it reminds me of her_.

"Is it?"

He looked towards the door again as it swung open. Before he could welcome the intruder fists were slammed onto the table. "WHAT THE HELL, REID. What is this shit, man?" he growled.

Big doe eyes looked into ones seething with anger and betrayal. "Could you please turn down the temperature, Morgan?".


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: My heart feels dead inside, it's cold and hard and petrified

Left alone once again in the interrogation room he had time to reflect. He thought of her and the ones before her. He thought of Aaron, his lover.

He could still hear the pain and anger in his voice as he told them that they had made a mistake. It couldn't have possibly been true. The rage that took over when he saw the cuffs being placed on the thin wrists.

It took both Rossi and Morgan to hold him back. The disgust that evoked from their touches.

Hotch had a thing about loyalty, it meant everything to him. Reid was flattered over how out of his way Hotch went to protect him. He was pretty sure had they not found the evidence they did he would have denied his lover's guilt till his last breath.

The look that came over Hotch when he finally confessed would be permanently engraved in his brain.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: It's a bitch convincing people to like you

He listened as the prosecutor brought up his mother's schizophrenia. Saw the looks in the eyes of the jury as horror and sympathy flooded over them when the crime scene photos were brought out.

Listened as members from his own team profiled him. Rossi and Prentiss specifically. The others refused to get on the stand. He never liked those two much anyway.

His eyes lingered on the blown up picture of her. He was amazed at how a simple photograph could capture such beauty.

Not one eye in the courtroom was dry when the details of her death were exposed. He knew he should be more worried about what the twelve people deciding his fate thought of him but he was too busy entranced with the description. He'd hate for them to get a detail wrong. The description was as beautiful as the event.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: If lies were cats you'd be a litter

The unexpected vistor entering his cell made his heart jump. He reached out to cup his cheek but a violent tug of his wrists stopped the attempt.

"What's wrong? Don't love me anymore?" he smiled from ear to ear.

"Everything you've ever said was a lie" the man was angry, hurt.

"I don't lie" he simply said and took a seat on the cot.

"Yeah you don't kill either" Hotch snarled.

"I never said that" Reid grinned.

Hotch hastily moved in front of his younger agent and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up at him and lock eyes. "Why did you do this?". Their was raw emotion in his voice. Desperation.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: I won't deny I'm gonna miss you when you're gone

He fiddled with the shank in his hand, clenching and unclenching the object in his fist. He waited for his visitor to return. It had only been a week since their last encounter and he so desperately missed him.

He didn't give the man the answers he needed but he decided now was the time.

The prison bars slid open and he walked in, waving the guard away. The bars closed, it was just them now. The way it should be.

"I know this is supposed to be punishment but there's only one thing I've learned in here" he looked up at his lover and met eyes.

"What's that?"

"I can't live without you" he stood up and closed the space between them.

He lifted the knife to his throat and in one quick swift movement let it tear across his skin.

_He had never been more intimate with someone in his life than he was with Hotch in that moment._


End file.
